9th grade. At that particular time in Albert Lea, 9th grade was still located in the Junior High School. Which I was thankful for. The thought of being in that big, old, high school, was terrifying, so I was more than content to putter my way around the Junior High. I was pretty pumped as the year started because this was the year I finally upgraded to contact lenses! Obviously, with my lack of my Sally Jesse glasses, and perm, I was bound to be making the boys swarm. Again, incorrect. Boys were now just deciding that girls were pretty hot, and if they weren't hot, they could at least be friends with them. The latter is the catagory I fell in. Which, to this day, I can't say I'm upset with. It gave me a good look into the male brain, and down the road I would be able to go to them for advice, as well as save me time in not having to over analyze every one of the dumb things that they say or do in regards to future relationships. (No offense gentlemen, nothing but love for you.) Not to mention, dudes are not catty. They call a spade a spade, it is black and white, and you never have to wonder day to day where your friendship lies with them, it will be the same every day. Which at the awkward age of 15, was refreshing. I also suspect this is where my potty mouth comes from. Of course girls swore, but boys could really thread a tapestry of curse words together to create descriptive adjectives that I didn't know were possible. I tip my hat to you, good sirs.
I digress...So here I am, first day of 9th grade, glasses-less, perm free, and my first class is the dreaded, speech class. As soon as I saw my schedule, I suspected I was going to hate that class. I was going to have to stand up in front of an entire class while they just stared at me?! My friends were aware of my zesty sense of humor...but I certainly didn't want to do something stupid to embarrass myself! As we all got situated in our seats on the first, sweltering day of 9th grade, I took a look around the room. Everyone dressed in their first day of school clothes, not to be out done by anyone. I had a handful of good friends in the class, and I immediately clung to them for dear life, praying that the teacher wasn't going to make a seating chart. Mr. Brist had just started teaching the year before. The class ahead of us was crazy for him. He was fresh out of college, young and hip, (He wore Girbaud Jeans at least 3 days a week..which as you may recall, was very trendy then.) and I was sure I was going to hate him because he was going to make me talk in front of the class. The first few days came and went without any big to do. But by the second week it was time to work on our first speeches. I don't recall what they needed to be about, probably because I was ready to pass out from anxiety. I didn't sleep the night before the speech. Woke up that morning with a stomach ache. I had practiced my speech a million times because I wanted to at least know what I was saying, unlike the others that had gone before me in class and read off of the index cards word for word. I of course, silently judged them. Knowing that I didn't want to do that, but that no matter what, I was bound to take this speech to Suck Town. As class got started there were the usual announcements, pledge of allegiance, (because we still did that daily) then it was time to start the speeches. I prayed each speech to last long and that we would run out of time to get to mine. Not so lucky. Before I knew it, it was my turn. I remember my face feeling really hot, and my limbs feeling tingly. Knowing that the boys I had been day dreaming about making out with, would never be interested as soon as they heard the verbal diarrhea that was about to spew forth from my lips. I, to this day, can't remember what I said, but it got a big laugh in the class. I think I paused for a solid 10 seconds after that and just stared at the class in shock because I couldn't believe they found what I had to say as humorous. The first laugh was a planned joke. So, getting bolder, I threw in a few off handed comments..More laughter! Holy Crap! I'm frickin' hilarious! And I didn't care who knew it! I finished the speech, sat down...and it was at that moment, I knew I needed people to know that I had things to say, and damn it, they were really funny. The monster had officially been formed.
That first speech was like a drug addicts first hit. (Well, I can only assume, a drug addicts first hit is like that, I gather that information from the tv show Intervention) I felt so high. I knew I wanted to always feel as great as I did when people were listening to what I was saying, and laughing at the subject matter, of course some of it was my comedic delivery they were laughing at...but if they were laughing at that, Lord knows they weren't laughing specifically at me, and I was okay with that. People came up to me after class and told me how great it was. Mr. Brist wanted me to join the speech team (Nerds unite!) And that my friends, is the day my life changed forever. I knew what I needed to do for a laugh, and the further I could push the envelope, I would, because I didn't want to stop feeling that fantastic (non herb related) high.
Cacthing a high at Tiger's Roar, the yearly talent show. Chappy and I were MC's. :)
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