Many of you have been asking for this particular blog entry for some time. I have been debating if I really want to get into it here. I am not Carrie Bradshaw, with her Sex & The City column, I am not a man hater, who wants to dish on what horrors men have put me through. I am 31, dead sexy, and as single as they get. As you may recall from an earlier blog this year, I had tried online dating for 4 whole days around Valentine's Day. After some sexually explicit messages, and pictures of men's junk, I was off the sight at the end of that week... With some prodding, a lot of liquor, and boredom... I decided to sign back up for the ol' dating website. This was in late March...and this time...I lasted 3 months!! Crazy huh? Now, I nearly lost it again, when all of the men still living with their mothers kept messaging me, but held on this time, just one penis picture, and slowly..some pretty major hotties started coming out of the wood work. Besides...I'm way too social to meet someone online, am I some kind of a social leper that I can't find a man offline?! Meh, what the hell, it will make for some good drinking stories at happy hour.
What is Megan Radke's type of gentleman caller you may ask. Well, up until this point I had been on single dates with all kinds of men. Different back grounds, different jobs, different heights... but I really didn't think I had a type. Until, my type slowly started to emerge. Turns out, I am hit with African American males. Or in some cases, African males... I'm equal opportunity, who am I to deny the masses that started practically beating down my pseudo door?! Here's why I discovered they are truly my type: They're not scared of a strong, independent, HILARIOUS woman, they find my voluptuousness sexy as hell, and when I'm out on the town, they never lack anything to say, their confidence is ridiculously attractive, and they look at me like I'm the only girl that matters. Now are their white men that do that, absolutely. Have I been out with them? Absolutely not. So... from March until late May, as I mentioned I had a MAJOR feeding frenzy on my hands. I was averaging 3 dates a week... and I was starting to get some of the names mixed up...and my poor friends, they coudn't keep it straight... So I had to just start calling them by their professions or something unique about them so my peeps (and me on occasion) could keep it straight. Here are some of the major players that have stood out in my online dating:
*The Metro Transit Bus Driver
*The Parole Officer
*The Mechanic (Who lived with his aunt, but looked like Taye Diggs, so I was willing to look past that)
*The IT guy
*The Accountant
*The Trainer for the Vikings (who happened to be a MAJOR douche)
*Hamline (Don't judge he's legal and got a late start in college, so it's totally okay that he's still working on his undergrad!)
*Manager of a call center
*High School Football Coach
*The Future Dentist
*The Nigerian
Now, there were a few more in between, but those were some of the major ones.
For you gentleman reading this, you may be wondering to yourself, how do you get yourself a sexy lady such as Megan E. Radke? Here are some do's and don'ts:
DON'T:
1.) Come to the date nearly 2 hours late. That will immediately make me irritated, and you will probably not get any Megan Radke behind that night...if you know what I mean ;)
2.) Lick my face. (This actually happened)
3.) Tell me to wait in my car in a Mexican Restuarant's parking lot, only to attempt to feel me up BEFORE a meal. I like to eat. Buy me a burrito, maybe an enchilada, and then you can feel up my sweater puppies. (This is an enjoyable story, ask me for details sometime over drinks, it's a doozie.)
4.) Tell me that you really like getting to know me, and you want to continue seeing me...but would prefer if I could pay a few of your bills every month. (I will laugh at you, and then immediately kick you out of my apartment.)
5.)Tell me your grandma died, and that you're having a break down in the parking lot..only to have me come out to the parking lot and you not be there...liar, liar, pants on fire. I will not reschedule a date with you when you stand me up.
6.) Act interested in me, meet my friends, get to know my life story, and then fall off the face of the earth and make me feel bad for caring about you.
DO:
1.) Be on time, or at least let me know if you're running late.
2.) Wear cologne. Men that smell good are a major bonus.
3.) Offer to get the bill. I never expect it...but when you just let the bill sit there, it makes me feel weird. I am more than okay with going halfsies.
4.) Be honest. I'll never be mad at anyone who tells me the truth.
As you may recall, I mentioned in that Valentine's post, that I was worried I may never be able to have feelings for someone because I had given so much love to that one person so many years ago. While I was far from in love with this particular indivdual, I did see glimmers of being able to care for someone on an intimate level again. I'm hoping to see this person again as he was the best date(s) I went on. He was funny, brilliant, gave me shit, and from what I could tell, not afraid to put me in my place. And let's face it...If I'm going to have any hopes at a successful relationship, they will need to be just a smidge tainted...and be able to tell me off. :) Currently, I'm not sure where I stand with this gentleman caller, for all I know he had his fill of me and is onto other women (Which I'm sure would pale in comparison to me!) but in my heart of hearts, I have to believe he'll call me again. So kids, moral of the story is: Internet dating is not for those lacking intestinal fortitude. BUT if you play your cards right, you'll meet some nice guys, and have plenty of stories for happy hour. :)
LOVE this! I wrote a few very similar posts in my old blog. I have also tried on-line dating, but only eHarmony in order to avoid (or mostly avoid) a lot of those kind of things you mentioned here. I think people are more serious on that site since you have to pay & there's a SUPER LONG questionaire. Plus, you have to be "matched," rather than just a smorgasboard of pictures people can look at. I am also very social, so this is diff for me, but I think that at our age, since we follow the "same shit, different day" adult routine, the chances of running across The One are slim to none, so it's worth a try. And, yes, it does make for some entertaining stories! Looking forward to reading more... Don't settle for mediocre - you're an AMAZING woman! :)
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