Hello friends. Yes, per usual, it's been awhile. But I can explain! I always wonder who a.) is really reading this, and b.) if I really need to have anything of value to write... then I put it off and put it off..and suddenly it's been months. This will be a long one, so sit back and read about the shit show, that has been my life.
August 8, 2013 started out like any other. I found a cute outfit to wear to work, I was having a splendid hair day, was running a smidge late after getting my morning muffin and coffee at Holiday, but into work I went with a smile on my face. The following week would mark my four month anniversary at my new job, as well as switch into Academic Advising. Which I was LOVING. The challenges I saw every day were so different from that in Admissions. Parts of my brain were getting used that hadn't seen the light of day since college. My coworkers were amazing and getting used to my dark sense of humor and twisted personality. I had finally found it: My forever, big girl job.
Earlier that week, an email had been sent out from the campus president. We were going to be having a meeting on August 8th about 'changes' to the university. This sent EVERYONE into pure panic mode. "What's going on?!" "Changes??! What Changes??" "Are we downsizing?! Are people getting laid off??!" Now, for whatever reason, perhaps because for the first time in a long time I was not worried about losing my job, I suddenly became a Positive Pollyanna: "Okay guys, settle down! If there was a lay off coming, we would know about it before a MASSIVE meeting on Thursday... WE ARE FINE. Chill out." I went on about my business for the following two days.
I greet everyone as I walk into the office that morning at 9:32, only two minutes late, not shabby... poke my head into my Assistant Director's office.... Hmmm... lil' lady must be grabbing coffee this morning, not at her desk. I get to my office, put my purse away, flip my computer on, take one bite of my muffin, and my phone rings: It's the Presiden'ts office... Shit... What did I do?? Is a student already threatening a law suit on some bad advice they think they got from me?? One ring, two rings... Effffff... "This is Megan!" (in a more shrill, perky voice than I intended.) It's the director of Student Services on the phone, the person in charge of my entire office, why is she calling me from the president's office? "Morning Megan, could you join us down in President's office please?" Me, being the ever agreeable employee: "Absolutely!" I knew in that very moment, either I really screwed something up with a student, (which after thinking on that short walk to his office, I knew wasn't the case..) or I was getting fired. As I approached his door I saw him, my boss, and the HR lady. Yup, I was getting canned. I walked in with what I can only imagine was a bizaare smile on my face, said good morning, shut the door, and took a seat.
What would happen in the next 8 minutes, would change my life and how I look at the world every day. The president, a man who looks like a tree hugger, and wears suits a size or two too big for him, started what was a clearly rehearsed speech: "Megan, it's a sad day for (insert school name here), as you know numbers have been down, today, nationwide, we are letting go of many, many wonderful employees. This has NOTHING to do with performance, if you should so choose, in the future you will be able to work at this school, or our affiliates again." The entire time since I sat down I couldn't look at anyone. I just felt my skin getting tingly, looking out the massive windows in the president's large corner office... onto what I realized was a gloomy day. It was clouding over, wonder if it was going to rain? I thought to myself... I could hear the president still going on about how loved I was in such a short period of time there, blah blah blah... HOLY FUCK, I'm getting laid off. Wait... I can talk myself out of ANYTHING! I will just use my powers of persuasion, and they will give me another chance... Who am I kidding? They don't have the choice of keeping me, this came from the top, and I can't talk my way out of this. What am I going to do? How will I pay for my car? How will I pay for rent? My school loan? Am I going to have to move back to Hollandale?? I LOVE THIS JOB!! ...... I LOVE living in the Twin Cities!! SHIT!!!!
"Megan?? Megan? Are you alright?" Me: "Huh? Yeah, I'm alright, well as alright as I can be for getting laid off I guess." The HR lady started into her speech now. Going on about my severence package (which was decent, considering I'd only been there 4 months) The HR gal asked if I lived at the address they had on file for me, as they were going to need to know where to send any documents. My response: "Well it's where I live currently, that is until I can't pay my rent in a couple months and I move into a homeless shelter." I feel like she may not have been ready for that response, and I felt bad as soon as I said it. I knew she was just carrying out her job, she didn't need me to be a bitch about it. Surprisingly I didn't cry while I was in the office. The only question I asked was: Did you know this was going to happen when you hired me FOUR months ago? President: Abolutely not! When we had the positions to fill we WANTED to fill them, as we were anticipating growth... I left it at that... Later I would come to realize the lay off was so massive, that there was no way they didn't know of it four months prior. They were wishing and hoping for growth, and if it happened they could keep my position, if it wouldn't they would lay me off. They played Russian Roulette with my professional career... and I lost.
It was while my director walked me back to my office that the tears started...and wouldn't stop for a solid 24 hours. On that short walk back to my office it was like my director had a word quota she needed to hit. "I feel so bad, I'm so sorry, I didn't sleep last night...I feel like I barely got to know you." (Duh, I was here for four months.) I wasn't hearing her. I got to my desk and had to sit down a minute. I felt light headed and thought for sure I was going to pass out. It was also then she told me that my Assistant Director, who had become a good friend in a short time, was let go as well. Then the sobbing really started. She told me they would just ship everything in my office to me... but I didn't want them touching pictures of me, my family, my friends, my friend's kids... my hot priest calendar. I demanded a box. So I could at least take the important stuff. I just threw stuff in a massive box, walked to my director's office, handed her my key, badge, company credit card, and turned to leave. Then to make matters worse, she had to ride down in the elevator with me and walk me out the door. Like I was some kind of damn criminal. Like it was my fault I was being let go. I wasn't allowed to say good bye to anyone, for fear of starting a panic with the people that weren't getting shit canned. As I left the building the rain started. Perfect. I got to my car, unlocked it, sobbing the entire time... started my car, and looked at the clock. It was 10:01. In less than half an hour my world had been turned upside down.
I didn't know what to do, but I knew I didn't want to go home. Who would be around now?? It's a work day, all of my friends have jobs! Lauren! I thought to myself, she works from home... shit, she's in Des Moines for work this week... I called a few others, and left rambling, non coherent messages.. Which I've since apologized for. There was a phone call I hadn't made though... UGH, I needed to call The Mayor. But first I thought I would try to go home... I walked into my apartment, looked around, and cried so hard I thought the veins in my forehead were going to burst. "What do you pack when you live in a homeless shelter??" I somehow made some phone calls to friends that I knew had mentioned at one point or another their company was hiring, left some messages, and then cried some more.. I threw a few things in a bag, and then faced the inevitable. I called dad. Me: (through tears, snot and voice that wasn't my own.) So, my position was eliminated in a company restructuring and I don't have a job. The Mayor: Wait, what? Me: I can't be at my apartment and all of my friends have jobs and I don't.. I'm coming to Hollandale. The Mayor: Umm... okay... see you when you get here.. Poor little guy, he was just as shocked as I was.
At 10:23 that morning, I was on the road yet again, to a place that I can run to when all hell breaks lose. I cried the entire way. Some people started returning my calls with potential job leads. And thankfully enough, Lauren called me back. A gal that can get just as riled up as I do, but also knows when I need tough love. This was a time for that. Me: L! I'm fucked! Fucked! I'm going to have to either live in a homeless shelter or move to dad's house and work at the potato salad factory again!! L: Calm down. Me: I can't believe I'm here! I can't believe it! I don't even know what to do! I have no other income to fall back on but MY OWN! L: You need to take a breath.. Me: Ha! Take a breath! I'm going to have to make potato salad and coleslaw for the rest of my damn life! L: Radke. Radke... (I'm still rambling over her..) RADKE!! SHUT UP A MINUTE! You are going to be just fine. This has happened to people in the past and they have survived. That's what unemployment is for. You're going to get snatched up in no time... She went on her little pep talk for awhile...and even though I was certain she was just saying this because she was my friend, it did make me feel better.
I went to dad's that afternoon. It felt so safe there. As it did when mom had died. Little Einstein was there yet again to try to lift my spirits. He would get so upset when I was crying so hard he would jump off my lap and bark at me to shut my pie hole. The Mayor was a great listener, and good at calming me down a bit.. but I knew this would also stress him out, and made me feel guilty for dumping my issues on him. In never experiencing this before, I did what anyone does in 2013. Got on social media. I had to announce I was jobless (mortifying) and then take any and all job leads I would have maybe not known about otherwise. I've always said it's not what you know, but who you know..sweet Jesus let that be the case again. After posting on facebook, twitter, and linked in... my head hurt so badly I had to lay down. I fell into a restless sleep, but woke up 2 hours later...and my phone had not been resting.
Talk about being overwhelmed by support. I had so many facebook messages, posts, suggestions, that I honestly didn't know where to start. I had no idea my friends knew so many people and had connections to recruiting firms. I am writing this long winded post, to thank you. Thank you to every single person that reached out to me. I followed up on all of the job leads you put out there, and there were alot. I sent my resume to my friends that are recruiters, I got interviews through my friends, friends spouses, friends of friends... I can't begin to tell you what it meant to check those social media realms the first few days and have so much to follow up on. On top of that, if people weren't suggesting job opportunities, they were personally messaging me to meet up for a drink, or dinner, or invited me over for a meal. Or stopping by to just talk and laugh. There were people I hadn't talked to since high school, just writing me a note to say they were praying and thinking about me, and knowing that I was going to find something even better, and work for a company that deserved my time and talent. I hadn't seen some of these people in YEARS. The love I have felt over the last six weeks has been eye opening. You really don't realize how many people's lives you touch in a life time. Believe me when I say, you have all touched mine, and have made me who I am today, and who I am still becoming.
It was hard to get out of bed every morning and look for work every single day. If I hadn't had you, and the support you all gave me, I am quite sure I wouldn't have been able to land a new job in just 5 weeks. :) Thank you doesn't cover it, I know. But I'm sending you all my love. Here's to a new job, that I will hopefully love just as much, and to a school that has no idea about the whilwind of Megan E. Radke that is about to hit it. ;)
